I can't stand it any longer.

I'm very happy today. okay from now on, I'm trying to accept the truth. yeah , I've write about this more than 20 times. I know.. but I'm just a normal people, I do have feeling and I am not a barbie doll.. I can say it , But it doesn't mean I really can do it. It is not my desire. This is not easy for me. My heart hurt so much + broken into piece.. I'm crying almost every single night. <-----how stupid I am. I'm trying to start a new life started from now. I just want to focus on my study. Straight A+ .. InsyaAllah. And for sure I'll hate both of you. cause of both of you I'm suffering more than a year.. 

 

so quotes of the day is --> You can't have a better tomorrow if you don't stop thinking about yesterday >.<

result ? who cares . . hihi

I've got the result for my PKBS1 examination. not bad. but I'm still not satisfield with it. It is still not good enough. However , I'm happy. because finally I can do it better then before. At least I am better than 'Both Of Them' what they have ? NOTHING. Actually , I've one wish ,  I really hope one day..I'll got straight A's And I'll show it in front of them . I wanna show that my life is better when everything between us is over. I've never lost anything. therefore, this is not my fault.  moreover , I've wasted my time for almost a year for this stupid things.  I don't want to talk about it detail. It's up to you understand or not what I mean. hihi. who cares? I just hope after this,  I will never do this stupid mistake again and again :)

Looser !

Today is the day. I had a Petanque competition  :( . . and lucky not on my side. disappointed so much. frustt + sad. I've wasted my time every evening stayback at school for almost a three week. The stupid things I've do today is crying in front of them.  Truly , I don't have a mood today. I really mean it. double frust actually. At first , I hate it when 'she' comes to my house and all I see is she's massage with him. I'm fool . dumb. stupid. why I'm still got jealous ? there is for nothing ! I don't know when I'll forget about him. Oh God. please. I'm begging you, help me delete all the memory that lingering in my head. I can't stand it. I don't want to see her. I don't want her to come to my house ,  and I don't want to talk to her although for a word. I can't . I really can't . I've patience with this situation for almost a year . My heart hurt so much. But I don't know what I have to do. I can't tell her the truth. I can't tell her what I feel now. I'm worried , she's can't understand me.

erm I'll have an examination on tuesday. I'm worried. I can't focus on my study now. thanks a lot to 'both of them' :(((((

Skuter oh skuter .. ~

yeay2. setelah lame ku tunggu siap jugakk skuter tuu. fuhh, lame kot ade kat bengkel. miss it so much. heee. esok bleh laaa ronda2. hihi ~ tapi exam dah dekat. :( 

by the way.. aku rase bersalah sangat. sorry kak. bukan tak suke kak tanye gitu. maybe badmood time tu. sorry. I really appreciate it. there is no one like you. cares and nice to me. I'm really sorry. maybe I don't know how to act if someone cares with my problem. I just don't know how to tell you. yeah , I have a problem right now. and you're the only one who can see it althought I didn't tell you. :)) I'm so proud to have friend like you. once again i'm really sorry. .. . =.=